This past week kind of sucked. I was offered (ie I applied to and was asked to accept) a dream job . . . and I had to turn it down. The position was in Corporate R&D at P&G developing new methods for consumer research. They type of work that I had gone out of my way to get involved in just last year as a “pet project”, and someone offered to let me do it full time. Not to mention, I would have been working for someone that I have a ton of respect for and have enjoyed working with in the past.  And of course, the reason I applied for the job is because I was having a tough time finding those things in my current assignment.

Anyway, I turned down the position because I’m vying for a promotion right now (not that I’m necessarily very close to a promotion, but I’m actively working on getting one :P ), and I was told quite bluntly that there was no chance for promotion in the new assignment. One of those issues that sort of goes along with working in Corporate Functions. I was pretty upset about having to turn down the position, which of course made me second guess whether or not I was making the right choice . . . and I finally figured out why I was so upset. I sold out. I put my career and getting ahead in the company in front of doing important work, making a difference, and enjoying my job . . . something I never thought I’d do.

I’ve always dreaded the day that I would become a “Proctoid” – you know, one of those mindless office workers following orders and adapting to every whim of management just to get a little bigger piece of the pie. Procter and Gamble is notorious for its very efficient mass production of Proctoids (thus the name). My friends always told me I had it in me to become one, and I always laughed it off, certain that I was different. Well I might not be a Proctoid yet (I really hope not at least), but I certainly feel one significant step closer to the edge.

Bah. In spite of all that, I know I made the right decision. I can come up with all sorts of excuses for why it wasn’t really selling out, but at the end of the day it was just a crappy decision to have to make. I’m fairly certain that in the long run I’ll be more productive because I turned down the job. I just don’t feel very good about it right now.